Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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