You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
