no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
