C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
