..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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