I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
