dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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