so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
