he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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