my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
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