Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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