This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize