You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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