yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
