Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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