You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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