mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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