every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
