if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
