mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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