we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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