she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
