Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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