She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize