Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
