she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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