Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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