I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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