wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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