I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
