Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
