we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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