i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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