Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
