she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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