Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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