She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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