i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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