Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
