I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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