just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
