my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
