The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
sex in a hospital.. check
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
