If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
