I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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