mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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