I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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