In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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