Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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