I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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