Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
