Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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