dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
