How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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