i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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