The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
there is puke in my bra ... again
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