last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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