I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
