Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
